DISCARDING DESTRUCTIVE DEMANDS:A-Z OF MAKING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE by Femi Obadun

Discarding Destructive Demands

Godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing to this world and it is certain that we are taking nothing out. Demand from a spouse can either be expressed verbally or implied by attitude. But when demands are well above the prevailing reality in the home, pressure creeps in. And if it is not controlled or discarded altogether, those kind of demands tend to become very destructive and life threatening.

Excessive demands of material things can lead to stacking up of huge debts for the family. It must also be observed that most of the demands that turn destructive at latter end are usually fueled by the tendency to  create or maintaining a status symbol, or wanting to be like the other person, regardless of whether the resources or the experience to maintain that status is available or not. 

The children of Israel have always been led by God himself through his prophets.But at a point, they put up a demand on God for a king, simply because they wanted to be like the other gentile nations around them who have been ruled by kings for ages. God granted their demand, but it turned destructive for them eventually. And one of the reasons was that Israelites were driven by self will, shifted their attention and trust from the God of their fathers, forgotten the numerous battles He has worn in their behalf without any king.They rejected God’s plan and idea and so God gave them up to do as they wished. 

Readers, isn’t it a destructive demand when you are compelled to rent an apartment that takes over 40 % of your annual salary in a job in which you have no significant stake except the salary? If you are asked to quit, how will you cope and fund such a high lifestyle and taste you are already accustomed to? There will definitely be pressure in that marriage and if not properly and carefully handled, it could lead to its end. 

It is indeed a highly destructive demand when in the matter of faith and religion, one party tries to force his faith or beliefs on the other, whereas from the onset, tolerance of each other in this regard was agreed upon. Marriage is an institution which is divided into grades or levels, just as we have in the secular educational system, and each grade or level has its minor and major courses. What is minor issue for both couples before their first child arrives may become a major consideration at a time they have three or more children and vice versa. It is therefore the duty of both parties to understand the demands that are reasonable at each stage of their union, otherwise, any demand outside the right order of things may turn very destructive. May God bless your union in Jesus name amen.